Having children is seen as a very natural step after marriage in our society. However, raising a family brings with it its own unique challenges and joys that both parents need to navigate together.
Too often we hear only of the mother’s role in raising children. There is great pressure on being an ideal mother and lots of opinions on how motherhood should be performed. From older relatives, to collogues, to even strangers giving their opinions on what it means to be a good mother, there is very little talk about being a good father. We hope that this article can give some insight into this rarely discussed aspect.
One of the easiest ways to be a good father is to enjoy your fatherhood. When you begin to do the things that bring you joy and engage with your children either through play, talk or doing an activity together, you are modeling for your children how to be joyful. Cherish the time you have with your children. Spending time with your children and family can have a huge impact on the lives of your children.
Explore the meaning of fatherhood
Being a father should not only mean getting a woman pregnant. Many societies associate calming ones manhood with procreation but there is so much more to fatherhood than just this. Caring for children does not only mean providing for their material needs, it also means caring for their physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. Ask yourself what it means to be a good father and discuss this openly with your partner and children so that the whole family can come together and express and address their needs.
Teach ad Learn
Teaching children a new skill can be a great way to spend time with your children while also teaching them how to do something new. It is also equally important to learn from your children. If you find that your child is interested in something that you may not be, use the opportunity to learn more about it from them. When we both teach and learn it creates a safe space for the child to feel that they can express themselves while also being guided and parented.
Don’t repeat old patterns
Most adults have felt the pain of being pushed to do something that they many not fully believe in. As we grow, we all find our own methods and belief systems and sometimes these are very different from those of our parents. When we have experienced the pain and conflict of being forced to do things a certain way to please others, we should be aware not to repeat the same cycle with our children. Be aware of the things that your hold on to tightly and give space to your children to explore their own feelings and thoughts about it.
When fathering is not talked about, it becomes very difficult for fathers to know how to parent their children. The roles of fathers was for very long time limited to earning money and showing up for meal time. However, as time has moved on the roles of fathers must evolve too. To read more on such topics, please visit Kalden’s blog.