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Dealing with Anger in everyday life

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Anger is a powerful emotion we possess, however we are not taught how to tackle it when we are children. If we are taught how to handle our emotions in school or at home, we will definitely have a very different kind of world then what we have today.

We experience anger almost every day of our lives for small reasons and sometimes for no reason at all. Anger is so wounding that it can destroy us from within and spoil our relationship with others. It is important to express anger, I am not saying it is not ok to do so but the way we do it, why we do it and how we do it is important to learn. Anger is reflected in our actions and dealings.

What causes anger?
While we think strongly about objects (person or situation) of sense enjoyment, we get attached to them and from such attachment we develop unlimited and uncontrolled desires. When we are not able to control and satisfy our material wants and desires we become angry. Anger results in delusion, which thereby causes loss of intelligence. Let me explain you by giving you an example-

Picture this situation:  

Nishant is a studious young man who fails to clear the cut-off marks required by a reputed college. Failing to do so, he goes under depression; peer pressure and jibes of his parents make his situation even worse. He becomes short-tempered and gets angry at each and every one. He shouts, misbehaves and even brawls with his friends and cousins. He spoils his relationship with people and goes in oblivion. Many millions of teenagers go through similar situations and can easily relate to Nishant.
Nishant was in pursuit of good marks and a prestigious college, material desires and attachment made him aggressive and over-zealous. These negative emotions resulted into actions breeding belligerence.

Effects of Anger
As soon as a person becomes angry his whole body becomes polluted. Anger is our enemy and a product of the modes of passion, lust and attachment. Tolerating provoking situations and controlling anger can save us from great dangers. A person may have many good qualities but all of those will be eclipsed if he cannot control his anger. It’s not easy to suppress anger, it aggravates if not controlled. A person who loses control over himself completely and acting of anger will result in actions for which he will be reprimanded sooner or later.

How to manage anger?
Love, compassion, forgiveness, tolerance and patience are the virtues which counteract anger. Mindfulness meditation has always been a powerful tool to control wrath. Meditational practice of observing natural, normal breathing, as it comes in and as it goes out of our nostrils, is an easy to learn, objective and scientific technique that helps in developing concentration of the mind. Art of observation is to focus only on the incoming and outgoing breath. By being conscious only of inhalation and exhalation, while we are meditating, brings tranquility.

Had Nishant been taught mindfulness meditation along with tolerance in school or by his parents he would have surely had a different life and experience altogether!

Dalai Lama says, “Anger and fear undermine our immune system, while warm-hardheartedness brings peace of mind. Therefore, just as we teach children to comply with physical hygiene for the good of their health, we should also counsel them in a kind of hygiene of the emotions.”

Kaldan Doma is a motivational speaker in Delhi who is among the motivational speakers in India for students. She is a life transformational coach, who wants the youth to rediscover themselves in order to have a happy and healthy life.

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