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How girls should behave

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How girls should behave

10 pre-programming you are taught in subtle ways

10 pre-programming done to girls when they are growing up. This is done to all the girls around the world. You are weaker than boy physically and mentally. If you look at the ways, we are pre-programmed we thank the society, religion and culture believe the system we have around the world. They have much influence in the way girls are taught to be.

TV serial girls are bitches and boys are innocent. Their mothers of the boys are depicted as whams. Instead of making a protest against such Programs we watch them like a ritual by seeing it at the same time. Really, what is wrong with everyone? 

The image of the girls and women need to get an update. We the whole female spices need to do it together. So here are the 10 pre-programming done to you and if you don’t get out of it, you will lead a life that your great grandmother did, so you need to get your comfort zones and transform yourself and others in your family.

Here are the 10 pre-programming you are taught in subtle ways

  • Learn to talk

Do not talk too much in front of everyone, do not talk loudly and laugh loudly:

Girls are always told that these are not good etiquette for girls. Girls should be quiet and calm because they have to go to their in-law’s house in the future. If you talk too much or talk loudly people will judge you and blame your parents that they have not taught good manners to their daughter. 

  • Train to serve others be a martyr

 You should know how to cook and other household chores:

Girls are always told that they are meant to do household chores. Household tasks like cooking, cleaning, stitching etc. are the primary things that they should learn. These will help them in the future. Due to this, many girls are not even able to express what they actually want to learn in their life.

  • A good girl philosophy

You have to become a good daughter, wife, and mother:

 You are a girl; it is your responsibility to become a good daughter by listening to every that is being told to you. 

After marriage, you have to become a good wife, a good daughter-in-law and then a good mother. Here they mean serve everyone in all the ways you can think of and if you do not serve, then you are not worth anything.

It makes girls feel that their self-image does not matter to anyone. They have to live for others throughout their lives. 

  • Outside matters

You should be pretty and beautiful:

You are a girl you should look beautiful. You can’t eat too much; you will become fat and not look pretty. No one likes fat and unattractive girls. You will not get a good life partner if you are not slim and good looking. Girls are always taught that their worth depends on their shape and size. 

  • Cover Up

Do not wear short clothes, boys will stare at you:

 Don’t reveal your body. Wear such clothes which shroud your whole body perfectly. If you wear short or exposing clothes boys will stare at you and you may get raped. So basically if you are a girl, you can’t even wear the clothes of your choice. Remember it is the person who looks has a dirty mind and not you who is wearing what she thinks is good for her.

Culture, religion and belief systems have always done discrimination against women across the world. One need not go far to experience this as Kaldan describes 10 things a girl is told to do when they are growing up and you would definitely resonate with these 'moral lessons' especially if you are a girl.
  • My body

        Mensuration: 

What is that? It is dirty and you should stay at home. Sometime you may not even have a pad and if you have then you need to hide. So your body is not clean when you have our periods. This way you learn not to make any connection or listen to your body.

  • High heels and Sunset

Don’t go out alone after sunset, no night outs:

Being a girl you should not be out alone after sunset and you can’t go for a night out. It is safe for boys but not for girls. People will judge your character. If you stay out late that means you are a loose character.

  • Mirror on the wall who is fairest of all

Color of my skin

Who will marry you if you are not white or light color, but being dark face is not beautiful? This continuously is told to you by family and friends. You are then suggested many whitening products and here your quest to become white or light skin starts. Being white or light color is considered beautiful and rich in Asia and Africa.

  • Cinderella dreams

From dolls to reality

You are being prepared at a very young age. You have a doll, a house, a male doll and then you are given a kitchen plus a pram. If that was not enough, you are taught and surrounded by it from books to movies have a Cinderella dream you will find your prince charming and marry him have children and you will live happily after. You are being programmed for your future in a very subtle manner.  What happens when none of the above happens to you?

  • Become depend not independent

 You can’t live your life in your own way

You have to do what your parents and others say in your home and community believe in- like religion, culture, and ancestors. Keep doing what has been done for centuries. As this is good for suppressing women.

I would like you to rethink and reflect on who you are and what has been told to you till now. This needs to be changed and this I think can be achieved by starting a discussion and sharing your thoughts. If you want to learn more on how to make these changes and want to get out of this then join Kaldan Doma workshop *Dare*

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