Before thinking about your relationship with another person, you first need to ask yourself an important question – how much do you love yourself?
What we need to relearn as human beings is that having compassion towards yourself is not selfish. While self-centeredness is related to ego – thinking only about yourself -compassion towards oneself means being kind and humble towards your own self.
If you have these qualities, then when you fall in love with someone it will be because of these reasons and not because they look beautiful, have money, a good job, or other material things. These days, we have forgotten to love people for their inner qualities. We look for outward comfort and so, when we have to live with another person, their behavior and other insignificant habits begin to irritate us. We tend to blame others for their shortcomings, mostly because we’re blind to our own. But if you start with understanding yourself, building a strong base of your own behaviors and habit patterns – then you will not face these problems.
When was the last time you did something for someone you claim to love? How recently did you make them a cup of tea, wash clothes, help with dinner or take out the trash? These may seem like little things that people also do for you but you might have started taking them for granted. You might react to them negatively and not be aware of where your own behavior stems from. Crazy as it might sound, self awareness is key to stop criticizing others.
Some people are stress balls, they tend to stress about everything in their lives. Once they solve one problem, they start worrying about the next – they’re just build that way. If you are one of these people, you must learn mindfulness meditation right away. Focusing on your own self will help you navigate your relationships with others better.