7 Steps to let go of your past | MindLifeSkills | Kaldan Doma
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Sometimes we all struggle with not being able to change or control things that have happened in the past. Because we have no control over what has already happened we may find ourselves reliving these situations or decisions over and over in our heads. When we do this we distance ourselves from the present moment and take away from the joy that we can experience in the here and now.

Letting go of one’s past is not an easy thing to do. Here are a few steps to help you let go of things from your past and divert your attention to the present and the future.


Identify the things that you can control: Identify the difference in the things that we can and cannot control. Make a list of the things that you can and cannot control. Seeing them side by side will show you that there is so much within your power that needs focus and attention. 

Be aware of your cyclical thoughts: Ruminating over the things that you could have or would have done is not something that is always helpful. Find ways that will help you break this pattern. Physical activity or talking to a friend could help break the loop.

Remain open to change: As we continue to grow, our lives will continue to change. If we hold on to ideas of ourselves or our lives from the past, we are not just being unfair to our present but we are also slowing down the growth that comes with living.

Be attentive to the present: By focusing all of your conscious thoughts on the present moment you will be able to find lots of joy in the here and now. Being aware of simple things can help anchor you to the moment and enjoy it instead of living in a memory.


Practice Gratitude: When something has passed, we feel a sense of loss because we cannot experience it again. The next time you feel sad about something like this, try instead listing all the things that you were grateful for. 

Accepting your reality: Once you have identified the things that you can control and become aware of your cyclical thoughts you may find it easier to accept your reality as it is. When we practice being grateful and living in the present moment, you will find that you are able to not just accept but maybe even enjoy your reality. 

Visualize your life going forward: It is also nice to visualize where you see yourself going forward. This will help you direct your energy toward the present and the future rather than getting stuck in the past.

To let go is to accept that we no longer have control and this is a hard thing for us humans to do. But our fault is in thinking that we have control over things that we do not. By fixating on the past we are trying to control things that we can’t and this takes away time and energy from our present.

Please read Kalden’s blog if you would like to know more about focusing on the present, developing a healthy relationship with yourself and growing and learning.